


The Dark of You

by SavingPrivateJaeger



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Universe, Character's Name Spelled as Hanji, M/M, Manga Spoilers, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Possible Character Death, Possibly Unrequited Love, Rating May Change, Songfic, Tags May Change, Temporarily Unrequited Love, shingeki no kyojin manga spoilers, thunder spears
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-18
Updated: 2019-08-18
Packaged: 2020-09-07 04:16:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20303314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SavingPrivateJaeger/pseuds/SavingPrivateJaeger
Summary: "Levi watched in horror and tried to jump away as Zeke broke the fuse around his neck and the thunder spear exploded."Somewhere between consciousness and unconsciousness, present and memory, Levi must confront the feelings he'd been lying to himself about for years.Death is real, and he comes for all.Songfic to Breaking Benjamin's song, The Dark of You. I do not own the lyrics.Spoilers for manga chapters 113-114.





	The Dark of You

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was inspired by this cosplayer's Instagram post:  
https://www.instagram.com/p/B0i3UtJHjQe/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
> 
> I first discovered the song there (not the band) and was inspired by the photo. I was able to piece it together once I caught up on the manga. Please check him out as well as his partner, https://www.instagram.com/wolfoty/  
They do fantastic work!
> 
> Things may change depending on how the manga plays out and I'll update if it's received well. This is my first attempt at a songfic, so please be nice!

The Dark of You

Levi watched in horror and tried to jump away as Zeke broke the fuse around his neck and the thunder spear exploded. Everything went white and then black all at once. For a moment, he felt as though he was flying through the air with his maneuver gear, a comforting and familiar sensation, but all too soon felt the impact of the ground beneath him. Levi heard a rush in his ears; his body was a stone, and he had no strength left to pick it up. _This must be what death feels like. Eren…_ relief flooded his chest as he remembered that the boy…no, young man…was safe in his homeland. Sorrow clawed its way in on relief’s heels along with the memory of Eren’s betrayal.

_It must have been inside my head_

_I lost the hope that I had left_

_I can’t believe that all this time I thought we could trust him. What good is this fight anyway? All of those that I swore I would protect…_their faces lit up the impenetrable, black nothing behind his eyes. Erwin. Petra. Gunther. Eld. Oluo. Sasha. Eren. Out of the nothingness surrounding Levi, their ethereal forms came to his side and gathered him into their cold embrace.

_And now, at last, it comes to pass_

_We sleep, we dream, we have no less_

All that they had wanted was for humanity to be victorious over the titans, then freedom from the looming shadow of Marley and a world they had never known that wanted to destroy them. It was a singular, simple desire. But not so simple or singular. It was all a paradox. _Freedom. Death is…a kind of freedom. _ He soon realized that the rushing wasn’t in his head, it was…_Free as the river…_

_Along the path we lost our way_

_It’s all a game that I must play_

Captain Levi had made just one promise to Commander Erwin: that he would kill the Beast titan and avenge his death and the deaths of all those recruits who gave their lives so that Wall Maria could be taken back from the titans. But he couldn’t even do that. _Eren…you…shit. I suppose that since this is the end, I can finally allow myself to feel…I…you love your brother, Zeke, and even though I promised Erwin I would end him I couldn’t because you…I…and all this time I pretended I didn’t…_

_And now the weak that fall_

_Return to ash, defeated after all. _

Would Eren regret his choice? Would the deaths of his comrades…Sasha…Levi…add to the growing darkness within him, the darkness dulling the shine in those ocean-colored eyes every day? As hard as they’d fought, nothing was different and Eren had lost himself.

_Fade away to the wicked world we left_

_And I become the dark of you_

Levi saw Eren’s face then, as clear as if he were standing there. His cold, dying eyes. The long, dark hair he wanted so badly to twist his fingers into. Pain coiled in Levi’s chest. If he had been drawing a breath, it would have caught in his throat.

_Say a prayer for the wounded heart within_

_As I become the dark of you_

But then…_Hoofbeats?_

“Someone’s there!” The horses stopped. Levi’s heart lightened. Footsteps were closing in on him and warm hands soon wrapped around his body. The dead surrounding him disappeared and he saw vast emptiness once again. “Hey! Are you alive?!” An audible gasp as the person rolled him over. “Levi!”

_Hanji, _Levi wanted to say. But his lips remained immobile. The commander of the Scout Regiment shook his body. _But…eyelids…so heavy…my…eyes…_he was unable to control his thoughts anymore. _Am I breathing?_

_Let go, when all has come to life_

_We live, we breathe, we die_

Levi had done all he could. He had failed. A distant pinprick of light began to grow in the distance. _I’m…done…I want to…_

_They call me to the light_

_Forever lost in time_

_Let them figure their own shit out…let them go on without me…I’m so tired…_Eren entered his vision again. _He’ll…destroy them all. _

_With every dream we find_

_We feed, we burn, we lie_

_The fall of humankind_

_The everlasting light_

“I have no idea what happened,” someone said, “but we’re lucky. Our number one threat is here all bloodied up. Let’s shoot him in the head.”

_Floch? _

“He’s dead,” Hanji said just as Floch finished making his suggestion. “He got caught in the explosion of a thunder spear at point blank range. I’ve seen similar accidents during training but beyond external wounds, internal organs would be ripped to shreds and death would be instant.” The light was growing brighter.

“I can take his pulse,” Floch replied, suspicion leaking into his voice, “so let me have a look.” Hanji’s whole body went rigid.

“Floch!” Hanji relaxed her grip around Levi as another solider interrupted. She held him so close that her heartbeat was audible over the sound of the river. He felt her toward the voice. “There’s something weird with this titan!”

“Is it disappearing? …Did he die?”

“No,” Hanji interrupted. “Normally, steam doesn’t disappear when a titan is dying.”

Levi heard the _clank _of metal as guns were drawn, the fading sound of steam, and flesh knitting itself together. “No,” Hanji breathed. She began to tremble.

The light creeping into Levi’s vision began to shrink away. _No, I’m ready…_

_Fade away to the wicked world we left_

_And I become the dark of you_

In its place, a greyscale memory. _“Everyone get out of here! I’m going to let Erwin eat Bertoldt right in this spot!” Hanji took Mikasa away, and Connie took Sasha. Floch grabbed Eren. Tears poured out of the boy’s wide, cerulean eyes as he reached for his dying friend one last time. Levi thought back to his conversation with Erwin prior to the suicide charge. “Every single one of you bastards, ranting and raving like a bunch of children,” he muttered aloud as he dragged Bertoldt’s broken body to where Erwin lay. Kenny came to his mind, for some reason. ‘Everyone had to get drunk on something,’ he had said, ‘otherwise they couldn’t keep going.’ _

_Levi sighed as he knelt beside Erwin. _Everyone is a slave to something or another, _he thought as he knelt gave Erwin a once-over. _Even he was._ Levi prepped the injection and rolled up Erwin’s sleeve_. _Just as the needle touched his skin, Erwin smacked Levi’s hand away. He stared at the other man in shock; he had almost lost his grip and dropped the needle. The blond man murmured something about his teacher. “Erwin?” Levi sighed. He had already given Erwin permission to die and promised him he would kill the Beast titan. With a heart still heavy and torn in two, Levi walked over to Armin’s blackened, gasping form. He knelt beside the boy, Eren’s broken expression, his tears, and his reaching hand all he saw as he injected titan spinal fluid into the arm of the brunette’s best friend. Levi would never forget that face. _

His chest tightened again.

_Say a prayer for the wounded heart within_

_As I become the dark of you_

Another memory took its place. _Almost three years had passed since Wall Maria was reclaimed. Hanji had been training Eren and Armin from dawn to dusk for days. She had insisted, with a manic gleam in her eye, that Marley could attack the harbor again any day and that the boys needed to be ready. Armin seemed to have mastered the Colossal Titan’s abilities; Eren had mastered his healing powers to the point where he could choose when to leave a wound open and was so close to where he could choose which of his injuries to heal. If the young man’s tired, dulling eyes were anything to go by, the lack of sleep and burden of the previous Attack Titans’ memories had been taking their toll. _

When all has come to life

We live, we breathe, we die

_“No.” Levi placed himself between his commander and Eren, who was on his knees with Armin at his side trying to staunch the blood running from the brunette’s nose. “We’re done for the day.” _

_“Stand down, Levi,” Hanji commanded, “that’s an order.”_

_“I-I’m fine, Captain.” Eren stood, the bleeding no longer apparent except for his right hand, where he’d taken to leaving an open cut. “I can do it again.” He pushed the sweaty bangs out of his eyes and transformed but as soon as it appeared, the titan went limp and hurtled toward the earth below. Move away!” Levi bellowed the order to others training nearby as he used the maneuver gear at his waist to propel himself toward where he thought the nape would be when the titan’s form landed. When it did, he cut Eren free with more care than he’d ever sliced a titan’s nape and carried him away from the rising steam. _

They call me to the light

Forever lost in time

_Hanji met them on the ground, where Levi held Eren in his arms. “You haven’t removed him from my custody, commander,” he seethed, “and until you do, when I say we’re done for the day, we’re done.” It never happened again, and the manic gleam was gone. _

_“Captain,” Eren breathed as he looked up at the older man with hazy eyes. For a fleeting moment, he was a fifteen-year-old boy again, looking up at the person he most admired in the world. _I should have known back then. _Those eyes always rocked him to his core. _

With every dream we find

We feed, we burn, we lie

_“I’m here,” Levi murmured. Eren gripped the older man’s wrist with a trembling hand but soon fell unconscious. For three days he didn’t wake, and for three days Captain Levi took a few moments of sleep in a chair in the room where he rested. “He’s still in my custody,” he insisted when asked to leave the room, even when doctors had to be called to stabilize the boy more than once. Levi had never been so anxious in his life. The last time of many that they came to the room, Levi wanted to take Eren away. The whole world could burn as long as he was safe and his eyes were still as bright and as blue as the water in the harbor. _

_The fall of humankind_

_The everlasting light_

The darkness had swallowed the light that remained, and Levi’s chest burned: two grim truths. He had seen it in Eren’s eyes, too. He couldn’t die here. He couldn’t die today. He was the titan shifter’s only hope.

_Fade away to the wicked world we left_

_And I become the dark of you_

_Say a prayer for the wounded heart within_

_And I become the dark of you_

_He’s still in my custody. Eren has to fight this. I...Eren must…I have to…_

_Save this selfish world…_

Hanji’s grip tightened around Levi’s body as she took him into her arms, and he was airborne again. Cold and wet engulfed them next and the roar in Levi’s ears drowned out all else. He knew no more.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! This wasn't beta'd so please feel free to point out any grammar mistakes (I tend to invent my own sentence structures) or manga details!


End file.
